I am quitting my job at CCNY on January 30, 2004. After I quit, I will have less access to computers. But I want to continue to practice programming after I leave CCNY. I don't thing that I will ever be a computer professional again. I want to program just for the joy of programming.

I want to buy a laptop. With a laptop I can sit in cafes and work on my programs and look at pretty girls. Quite possibly, I will find a cafe where I can buy Internet access for a reasonable price. Then I can exchange email with my friends and family, which is really my principal use for the Internet.

My friend in California works for a high tech company that is going out of business. They are selling all of their computers to the employees and he was going to buy a laptop for me. Unfortunately all of the companies laptops were purchased by employees already, so he couldn't get one for me.

I find it frustrating and annoying to buy a computer because the field of computers is full of hype. The computers themselves, as objects, are repulsive to me as they permanently contain reverberations of the nauseating marriage from which they were born. Consumers are always searching for a way to buy happiness. Producers don't give a fuck about anything except getting rich. In many situations, the producers and the consumers are both complete idiots who you definitely wouldn't want to invite over for dinner. The crack dealer and crack addict make a fine example of one of these marriages. PCs are the babies of the marriage between the consumers who don't care about anything except for short-term ease and apparent cheapness and the producers who only care about their company's profit. PCs are not pretty things. The PC industry, if considered an entity, does not have any environmental conscience. The PC industry has no social conscience. This matches the consumers, at least the American ones. Every computer ad is the PC industry's effort to convince the consumer that their current equipment is obsolete and that way to become happy is to put their whole system into the garbage and then run out and buy a new one. No, I don't mean "run" literally. Of course I mean get your ass into your big SUV and drive to the computer store in the shopping mall while talking on your cell phone so there is never a quiet moment in your life during which you might think a clear thought about who you are and what might be your place in the world." You see, I don't care if the participants in the dirty marriage want to fuck each other, or if they want to fuck themselves, but it seems to me that they are actually getting most of their pleasure from fucking the environment. All of that plastic. All of that gasoline. All of that steel. Every computer is stylized to make it look slicker than the predecessor. The product is created to tickle the fancy of all of the consumer morons out there, and get them to move the pipeline of plastic one unit forward. Every time one consumer moron caves in to manipulation by the producers, another unit will be manufactured, fucking the planet once and, usually simultaneously, another unit will be stuffed into the ground, fucking the planet again.

I want to buy a used laptop. But computers are disgusting to me because they are highly stylized and the slick forms and textures are constant reminders of the culture I hate. I cannot go into computer stores because the hype literally makes me sick to my stomach.